watching our Speech
I am in the process of praying about joining a religious order. It is called the Order of the Ascension. It is an Episcopal community recognized under our Canons. It does not mean I am leaving you - I am not. It is an Order that will help further form me in my spiritual discipline and life.
The Orders promise is to,
To seek the presence of Jesus Christ in the people, things and circumstances of life through stability, obedience and conversion of life.
Their charism, (an extradordinary power given by the Holy Spirit for the good of the church), or purpose for existence, is the development of parish churches grounded in Anglican pastoral and ascetical theology, especially Benedictine spirituality.
I became aware of them over the past year or so as I noticed that much of my reading that I was being naturally drawn to on parish development, was written and published by this Order. I decided to explore further and move in deeper. I will keep you posted on my discernment process. Joining the Order does not mean I leave you - It is a promise I make on how to live my life.
The Order is based on Benedictine Spirituality. The Rule of Saint Benedict is 73 chapters long.The famous rule of life is a compilation of the wisdom Benedict gathered from the early monastic communities of which he was a part, and it has become the basis for many religious communities in Europe and around the world. It covers all manner of things: humility, restraint of speech, how to receive guests (with reverence), how to treat those who are ill (with gentleness), how to pray, how to eat, how to work, and so on. The final chapter is titled, “This Rule Only a Beginning of Perfection.” (What 73 and there is more?? smile)
The last chapter leaves you with a reading list for future spiritual development and Benedict reminds us that even keeping this Rule, reading other spiritual works and the Bible is only the beginning. It is what we become that counts. Living our lives.
It calls for a change of heart, a change of life - a different way of being. Becoming a legalistic rule follower is not the point, the rules point you and guide you on a distinct way of living and being. Changing who you are on the inside is what counts. Which is what the Gospel is about. It is what Jesus was teaching his disciples. Thinking and being in the world differently.
School is beginning again and children will learn not only knowledge but also skills and lessons on how to be with each other and with other people. They will learn to not talk when others are talking, to respect other peoples property, to be kind.
Social media has opened up a whole new way for people to be with each other. Being protected by not being in the same room or presence with people, some basic social norms seem to be lacking at times. People attack complete strangers on social media, criticizing their clothes, their speech, their manner of being. Laughing at others expense, mocking people has become a norm. Mutual respect and kindness to one another are often lacking.
The church is a community who has chosen to be another way in the world. We come together as people who have different experiences and different backgrounds, but who have chosen to live lives with mutual respect for one another and with kindness. We are to be witnesses in the world to the love and grace of God.
The book of Ephesians, written to the church at Ephesus, is packed with instructions on how to be and how to live in community.
Paul reminds the Ephesians to be distinctive in their way of life together: to speak the truth in love, to build one another up, to remember that they are members of one body, each with their own gifts to contribute toward the good of the whole.
Today’s passage in particular focuses on how to speak to one another:
Putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil… Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.
Paul doesn’t pretend to the Ephesians that anger and disagreements will not arise. But, he teaches them how to respond and be in those moments - that is what matters. He tells them to let no evil talk come out of your mouths but only that is what is useful for building up.
That is a pretty good meter for judging on whether or not you should say something or not. Does it build the other up? Are your words grace filled? This isn’t saying don’t disagree - this is sharing how to work through conflict.
Acting any other way grieves the Holy Spirit of God. “…and do not grieve the Holy Spirit”
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Be kind to one another.
Tenderhearted.
Forgiving.
These traits seem to be missing in our society often today. These traits are ways we are told we can be imitators of God.
And these attributes don’t just appear in our lives. They take strength and effort and awareness to develop them. This past week someone had texted me and I began to respond and I erased my response three times. Then just decided I did not need to respond. My response was really not necessary and it would not have built up. Being imitators of Christ takes awareness and intention, and sometimes restraint.
Awareness of ourselves - if we are cranky, tired, hungry, it may be more difficult to watch our words - so be aware of those times for yourself and make a decision to not respond during those times.
St. Benedict put Rules of Life, or norms, in place partly for those moments when we might be tempted to tear another down rather than build them up. As a guide our lives and actions.
Rule 6 in the Rule of Benedict is this: Restraint of Speech. Being silent and listening is valued. Refraining even from good words a times is valued, Proverbs 10: 19, “In a flood of words you will not avoid sin”. Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue holds the key to life and death.”
Vulgarity and gossip and talking leading to laughter, (making fun of someone or something), are not permitted. They are not helpful to building one another up.
Though operating like this takes more work and attention, more effort, it brings abundance. A faith community that builds one another up, that communicates with each other in kindness, with no gossip or putting others down - that community can serve as a beacon of hope to the world.
Earlier in Ephesians, Paul shares this prayer for the community:
I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3: 16-19
That is my prayer for our parish. If we are rooted and grounded in love, how might that shape our decision making? And where are places that kindness, gentleness, forgiveness and speaking the truth in love contribute to the building up of the whole body?
Summer is ending and we are beginning a new school and program year. It is a good time to reflect on the health of our parish and ourselves, and recommit ourselves to practicing ways of being together that point to the abundant grace and kindness of God. To recommit to this parish and community as we work out our salvation together, building each other up in love.
Psalm 34:3, “Proclaim with me the greatness of the Lord; let us exalt His Name together.”
Together. Building each other up.
Amen.
The Orders promise is to,
To seek the presence of Jesus Christ in the people, things and circumstances of life through stability, obedience and conversion of life.
Their charism, (an extradordinary power given by the Holy Spirit for the good of the church), or purpose for existence, is the development of parish churches grounded in Anglican pastoral and ascetical theology, especially Benedictine spirituality.
I became aware of them over the past year or so as I noticed that much of my reading that I was being naturally drawn to on parish development, was written and published by this Order. I decided to explore further and move in deeper. I will keep you posted on my discernment process. Joining the Order does not mean I leave you - It is a promise I make on how to live my life.
The Order is based on Benedictine Spirituality. The Rule of Saint Benedict is 73 chapters long.The famous rule of life is a compilation of the wisdom Benedict gathered from the early monastic communities of which he was a part, and it has become the basis for many religious communities in Europe and around the world. It covers all manner of things: humility, restraint of speech, how to receive guests (with reverence), how to treat those who are ill (with gentleness), how to pray, how to eat, how to work, and so on. The final chapter is titled, “This Rule Only a Beginning of Perfection.” (What 73 and there is more?? smile)
The last chapter leaves you with a reading list for future spiritual development and Benedict reminds us that even keeping this Rule, reading other spiritual works and the Bible is only the beginning. It is what we become that counts. Living our lives.
It calls for a change of heart, a change of life - a different way of being. Becoming a legalistic rule follower is not the point, the rules point you and guide you on a distinct way of living and being. Changing who you are on the inside is what counts. Which is what the Gospel is about. It is what Jesus was teaching his disciples. Thinking and being in the world differently.
School is beginning again and children will learn not only knowledge but also skills and lessons on how to be with each other and with other people. They will learn to not talk when others are talking, to respect other peoples property, to be kind.
Social media has opened up a whole new way for people to be with each other. Being protected by not being in the same room or presence with people, some basic social norms seem to be lacking at times. People attack complete strangers on social media, criticizing their clothes, their speech, their manner of being. Laughing at others expense, mocking people has become a norm. Mutual respect and kindness to one another are often lacking.
The church is a community who has chosen to be another way in the world. We come together as people who have different experiences and different backgrounds, but who have chosen to live lives with mutual respect for one another and with kindness. We are to be witnesses in the world to the love and grace of God.
The book of Ephesians, written to the church at Ephesus, is packed with instructions on how to be and how to live in community.
Paul reminds the Ephesians to be distinctive in their way of life together: to speak the truth in love, to build one another up, to remember that they are members of one body, each with their own gifts to contribute toward the good of the whole.
Today’s passage in particular focuses on how to speak to one another:
Putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil… Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.
Paul doesn’t pretend to the Ephesians that anger and disagreements will not arise. But, he teaches them how to respond and be in those moments - that is what matters. He tells them to let no evil talk come out of your mouths but only that is what is useful for building up.
That is a pretty good meter for judging on whether or not you should say something or not. Does it build the other up? Are your words grace filled? This isn’t saying don’t disagree - this is sharing how to work through conflict.
Acting any other way grieves the Holy Spirit of God. “…and do not grieve the Holy Spirit”
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Be kind to one another.
Tenderhearted.
Forgiving.
These traits seem to be missing in our society often today. These traits are ways we are told we can be imitators of God.
And these attributes don’t just appear in our lives. They take strength and effort and awareness to develop them. This past week someone had texted me and I began to respond and I erased my response three times. Then just decided I did not need to respond. My response was really not necessary and it would not have built up. Being imitators of Christ takes awareness and intention, and sometimes restraint.
Awareness of ourselves - if we are cranky, tired, hungry, it may be more difficult to watch our words - so be aware of those times for yourself and make a decision to not respond during those times.
St. Benedict put Rules of Life, or norms, in place partly for those moments when we might be tempted to tear another down rather than build them up. As a guide our lives and actions.
Rule 6 in the Rule of Benedict is this: Restraint of Speech. Being silent and listening is valued. Refraining even from good words a times is valued, Proverbs 10: 19, “In a flood of words you will not avoid sin”. Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue holds the key to life and death.”
Vulgarity and gossip and talking leading to laughter, (making fun of someone or something), are not permitted. They are not helpful to building one another up.
Though operating like this takes more work and attention, more effort, it brings abundance. A faith community that builds one another up, that communicates with each other in kindness, with no gossip or putting others down - that community can serve as a beacon of hope to the world.
Earlier in Ephesians, Paul shares this prayer for the community:
I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3: 16-19
That is my prayer for our parish. If we are rooted and grounded in love, how might that shape our decision making? And where are places that kindness, gentleness, forgiveness and speaking the truth in love contribute to the building up of the whole body?
Summer is ending and we are beginning a new school and program year. It is a good time to reflect on the health of our parish and ourselves, and recommit ourselves to practicing ways of being together that point to the abundant grace and kindness of God. To recommit to this parish and community as we work out our salvation together, building each other up in love.
Psalm 34:3, “Proclaim with me the greatness of the Lord; let us exalt His Name together.”
Together. Building each other up.
Amen.